"Hi, it’s me. I’m still downloading… just a work in progress."
Thoughts and wanders from my morning walk, hot yoga and sauna session… meditating whilst moving. Allowing the thoughts to flow. Learning to put those strategies that seem to work so well for me into action.
A feat utterly challenging during a seasonal hurricane of negativity, passionate expression and chaotic, loud, suffocating energy…
“Hi, it’s me. I’m the problem”—so she says... or something like that.
What if, instead, we say:
“Hi, it’s me. I’m still downloading…just a work in progress here.”
A reframe we need to practice to hopefully one day believe. Something we can so easily state for our children…
Hmmm.
Is it perimenopause? Is it undiagnosed neurodivergence? Undiagnosed ADHD? AuDHD? Unresolved childhood trauma? Is it HSP? Being a deep feeler? Is it learning to manage chronic pain? Is it PMDD? Is it anxiety? Depression? Bipolar? A personality disorder…?
Is it the migraines? The scoliosis? The adenomyosis? The cervicogenic myalgia?
Is it all these things… and then some?
Most likely a combination of a few, or most. Who’s to truly know, with all the knowledge available at our fingertips? With all the rocks?
We can identify ourselves in them all. I know I can.
In a culture of diagnosis and answers.
A culture of learning to understand. Of self-awareness. Of healing ourselves… of growth. Of becoming…
In the depths of coming to terms with what life is truly about. Learning to embrace and accept… to actualization?!
To outlearn the cycles of those before us. To take what works and discard what doesn’t. To learn what serves us and to find peace in it all…
It is a journey.
I am simply another girl.
A mom.
A wife.
A wanderer.
A thinker.
An artist… a seer.
An observer.
An overexplainer.
A seeker of understanding.
Absorbing the energies of all those around us… as that is what we are. Energy.
I am simply downloading… a work in progress.
What if I stopped looking at all the annoyances?
What if I caught myself each time I stared at the flabby, aging, stretchy skin hanging upside down and saw the wisdom that comes with its presence?
Saw the strength beneath the surface, holding it all together.
Those muscles are still hiding somewhere, regardless of their dormancy—or, more likely, atrophy from stagnation…
Time to move through it all and find that acceptance.
What would it be like to truly love thyself? To see the truth behind what others may see, and you just haven’t yet…
A matter of perspective, I suppose.
Hi, it’s me.
I’m still downloading…
with love,
Mel Watts
